NEEDLE IN A HAYSTACK

Rollie left on December 30, but Norrie arrived on New Year’s Day. They are two special people who have become permanent fixtures in my life. Both are friends; the former a high school batchmate – albeit from a different school – and a brother in the faith who became closely associated with me during my ministerial years in the Middle East; the latter, a time-tested co-warrior in the struggle for discovery of Self and Life and Love and the Hereafter, never mind if our respective faiths clash at the boundaries of opposing fences. Both are only two of my treasures.

I am fortunate to have gathered an ensemble of friends throughout my fifty years. In a world full of trickery and fleeting acquaintances, finding true friends is indeed like looking for a needle in a haystack. Difficult yet worth the find. Although nurtured like plants, friendships do not just grow on trees. It needs a lot of time to breed from the moment it is sowed on fertile grounds of unconditional acceptance. It needs to be watered by constant communication and getting-to-know-you’s. It needs to be fertilized by experiences shared in common. It needs to be cultivated with breathing spaces for individual growth. And it needs to be protected against onslaughts of storms by being held and cuddled through trials and tribulations.

There are moments when sadness invades even the heartiest of laughter when the absence of a friend to share the laughter with is strongly felt. Oftentimes, I am forced to retreat to the comforts of my room instead of wandering out in malls or forcing myself to socialize because as I have always stood for, I prefer to be on my own than to be with just anybody. I attribute my lack of motivation to socialize to the fact that I think it becomes a chore to open up anew and to “feel” my way through in the company of new acquaintances.

For example, I enjoy Harry’s company whenever he is around because with him, I could let loose, be myself, be the boss, the equal and the subordinate, and there are no boundaries to where our conversations and exchanges go, and where our feet will take us to. When I was in Los Angeles, I had unforgettable moments with Ronnie because we could get lost in the transport system or street intersections or even argue about which better places to visit and still end the day peacefully. Ronnie has been a constant since 1978 and the intertwining of our lives has taken many twists and turns that even in the physical absence of the other, the spiritual presence is sensed.

And it takes a long time to feel this way when you start to build new bridges to cross. This is not to say that I have stopped making friends. Friends are fortune. I cannot say that I have that much friends, but I am happy to say that with the friends I have now, right now, I have enough to last me a lifetime.