HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

You are 42 today. And if you think you have been forgotten the last 14 years, well, you should know better. It is impossible to miss you. In spite of the fact that you are not within reach, you have always been within. Proof that you are thought of everyday? Get this: your name is the password to everything I need to open. Whenever I see crossword puzzles, I remember our games. Whenever I hear Lisa Stansfield or Gary Barlow sing, thoughts of our “private party for two” come to fore. Whenever I smell Acqua Di Gio, I look around to see if you are anywhere near. Your smile continues to radiate in my thoughts. Your laughter drowns my own. Your stares never cease to melt my heart. The last time I viewed “Titanic” yet again, I swear I heard you say, “Don’t let go.” You are where you are now. I am where I am. And I am happy for you and I being just the way we are. And even if no words have been exchanged in a while, know that my silence means neither have I given up on you nor have I given you up. And even if we do not come face to face with each other ever again, you have filled me with so much love that can last me a lifetime. For that, I am thankful beyond words.

ISA NA NAMANG NEW YEAR'S EVE

Maya-maya nang konti, putukan. Tanda ng pagluluwal ng panibagong taon. Magsisigawan ang marami. Magbubunyi. Magdiriwang. At kasabay ng lahat ng ingay at liwanag ng lusis, kwitis, rebentador, watusi, super lolo, bawang, torotot, kalembang ng kampana, pukpukan ng kaldero at busina ng mga sasakyan, kakapit ang bawat isa sa bagong pag-asang kakambal na isinisilang ng bagong taon habang inililibing ang nakaraang tatlong daan at animnapu't limang araw.

At sa mga nagbabadyang ingay ng sangkatauhan, sino naman ang hindi magnanais ng katahimikan? Yung tulad ng pananahimik na dumarating kapag pagod na tayo sa pakikipagtalo at pakikipag-usap. Yung pananahimik matapos nating maibulalas ang mga dinadalang kabigatan na ihinahanap ng lunas mula sa isang kaibigan, isang tagapayo o maging sa Dios. Yung pananahimik na talos ang kalapastanganan ng pagbibitiw ng kahit isang salita lamang. Yung pananahimik na naghuhugis pitagan sa paglipas ng sandali.

Si Freddie Aguilar ba ang umaalo sa isang binging, “Mapalad ka, o kaibigan, napakaingay ng mundo?” At sa kabila ng mga kaingayang ito, naroon pa rin ang ating pagnanasang idagdag ang ating tinig sa angaw-angaw na nagpapaligsahang madinig. At dahil marami tayong gustong sabihin, naroong ipaggiitan ang sarili magkaroon lang ng entablado anuman ang ating sampu-samperang opinyon.

Dati-rati, ang hilig kong bumangka. Dala marahil ng kabataan at ng kagustuhang maging sentro ng maraming kuwentuhan. Yung makilalang mahusay ka, magaling, maraming alam. Pumapalakpak ang tenga kapag naitatanghal na bida sa bawat diskusyon. At dahil naniniwala ka na rin sa sariling bida ka nga at isa kang paham, napapawalay ka sa karamihan, itinatangging ikaw ay pangkaraniwan at naiiwan kang mag-isa.

Kaya nga, laking tuwa ko nang unti-unti kong matutunan ang magpakahinahon. Isa sa mga magagandang prinsipyo ng pakikipagtalastasan ay hindi lamang ang pagkakaroon ng paninindigan sa iba’t-ibang aspekto ng buhay na kung sadyang lilimiin ay hindi naman lubhang mahahalaga. Bagkus, mas matimbang ang magkaroon ng katahimikan para magmuni-muni, para makinig, para matuto mula sa higit pang marurunong nang sa gayon ay madagdagan pa ang mga bagay na alam mo na. Pakiwari ko lang sa sarili, lumampas na marahil ako sa puntong ang naririnig ko na lang ay ang sarili kong boses, ang sarili kong halakhak, at ang palakpakan ng ibang tao. Totoo nga yatang habang tumatanda ka, mas nagiging masigasig kang hindi mapansin.

At dahil mas naghahanap ka na ng katahimikan, higit kang maraming nadirinig.

Unti-unti mong natatantong wala kang pinagkaiba sa mga pangkaraniwan, Na ituring mo mang higit kang maalam kaysa sa nakakarami, patas lamang ang mga pinagdaraanan nyo sa buhay, at iisa lang ang kauuwian. At magkaminsan pa nga’y mas hitik sila sa kasiyahan at mas lipos ng kaligayahan — kahit bulag silang umiibig na tulad ng isang ina sa bunsong anak, bulag na umaasa tulad ng isang pangkaraniwang dalagang nangangarap makapagsuot ng kahit pangkaraniwang hiyas man lamang, bulag na nagmamataas at nagmamalaki tulad ng isang amang hindi mapatawad ang isang alibughang anak. Dahil sa mga kabulagang iyon, doon ipinagdiriwang ang bawat pintig at tibok ng puso at ang rubdob ng pagiging buhày.

Unti-unti mong nauunawang, balanse ang lahat. Na saklaw ng lahat ng panahon ang mga pagkakatumbalik at ang pag-inog ng buhay. Na ang kahapon, ngayon at bukas ay pagtatakda lamang ng mga pamantayang naghahati sa mga buo. Na ang totoo ay sakop tayo ng magpasawalang-hanggan. Hindi ba’t ang isang bata ay tatanda rin sa iisang katawan? Hindi ba’t sa bawat katauhan ay mayroong banal at makasalanan? Hindi ba’t dumaraan ang katawan sa pagkakasala upang maunawaan ng kaluluwa ang biyaya ng pagpapatawad? Na ang potensiyal na santo ay nasa katawan rin ng isang makasalanan? Na kakambal na ng kasalanan ang kapatawaran? Kung ang lahat ng bagay ay sa Dios nagmula at ang lahat ng bagay na mula sa Dios ay mabuti, tama bang isiping lahat ng ating mga karanasan ay pawang mabubuti: maging buhay o kamatayan, kasalanan o kabanalan, karunungan o kamangmangan man dahil ito ang pagiging tao? At kung matatanggap ito nang maluwag sa dibdib, ano pa dapat nating alalahanin?

Unti-unti mong naaarok na sa pakikinig, naroon ang pagtitiwalang bahagi ka ng Isa. Na ang mga sariling saloobin at mga hinaing at mga dalamhati ay bahagi rin ng panaghoy ng mga umaasa, ng halakhak ng mga paham, ng pagtangis ng mga nagngingitngit, ng paghihingalo ng mga namamatay. Lahat sila’y nakalingkis, nakatali, nakayapos, nakakawing, nakapulupot, nakasalabid sa isang-libo’t isang pagkakabuhol. At lahat ng mga tinig at ingay at pangarap at pag-asa at pighati at lumbay at kaluguran at kagalakan at kabutihan at kasamaan ng bawa’t isang nilalang ang siyang bumubuo sa sangkatauhan at sa sangkamunduhan.

Samantala, habang mataman kang nakikinig sa kakoponya ng sala-salabat na tinig, ramdam mo, tanggap mo, alam mong bahagi ka ng agos at ng lumulutang na musika ng buhay, bago man o luma ang taon.

AKO BA ITO?

The day after I posted ISA NA NAMANG DECEMBER 16, I received a 4-page note from a very good friend who happens to be a very good editor of a very good Christian publication.

I didn’t think she would be that observant of me.
The list below details how much of me she knows.
And I bow in silence, utterly utterless.


52 THINGS I LEARNED FROM MY AMAZING FRIEND


1 First encounters can be mesmerizing.
2 Pressure can bring out the poet in you.
3 You’re never too old to go and finish college.
4 Doing books of Ed Lapiz depends on miracles (more miracles follow, too!).
5 In the midst of a daunting task, God reveals a dreamboat.
6 Comfort is just an e-mail or text away.
7 God rewards stubborn faith that says, “Basta!”
8 Be proud of your age when you hit gold. That way, your youthful looks
astound people more.
9 Nine year’s practice is good preparation for an unforgettable tandem.
10 You can only attempt so much in writing a blurb for Ed Lapiz…unless you’re a
Joey L. Garcia!
11 No matter how deadly a deadline may seem, it’s possible that it can be met
beyond your wildest dreams.
12 Charming gatekeepers do exist.
13 Timely hugs from a sweet-smelling friend can be addictive.
14 Love and serve your pastor so he can do greater things.
15 Treat your fellow sufferers nicely. They deserve it.
16 Piliin at tangkilikin ang sariling atin.
17 Look forward to retirement and your senior citizen’s discount cart.
18 Have an “apo” week.
19 Smell your best.
20 Leave your cellphone unattended when you’re doing personal ministry.
21 Keep your first Bible. It has a story to tell.
22 Help your friends. You’ll always be full of love.
23 Overspeeding brings about “to die is gain” talk. It’s not a good feeling.
24 Enjoy the rain. The e-mail can wait.
25 The spa is a non-negotiable.
26 To live longer, pass on your eye strain.
27 The tougher the project, the more it should be accomplished. But it’s ok to
set it aside for a while.
28 Tell friends what you want them to give you on your birthday.
29 Skip the condiments. Even the gravy.
30 Have a cabinet for your favorite things.
31 Nike is right. Impossible is nothing.
32 Mentally recite “Ayokong manakawan ng happiness” 70 x 7 times when delays
seem endless.
33 Always praise God for His goodness during and after a crisis.
34 Master the death-defying skill of texting while driving. (It will scare the
texter on the other end to silence.)
35 Say something nice and funny to those who serve you. It will make their day.
36 Anticipate and enjoy delays. Things aren’t really that bad.
37 Live by “just in case.”
38 Apologize when you arrive earlier than scheduled.
39 Say “I thought you take lunch at 2pm” when you unintentionally interrupt
someone’s lunch break.
40 Soup is an indispensable part of a meal. Never eat without it.
41 Write in lower case (except in lists like this.)
42 Know the latest of everything so you can use it in leading Bible study.
43 Cinderella time is beyond three hours and before sundown.
44 Blow a flying kiss to say thank you and see you later.
45 Don’t hide your awe.
46 Additional responsibilities are a compliment.
47 Desire unending joy.
48 Sneakers forever!
49 Someone’s got to be the villain when it comes to spending church funds!
50 Save feel-god text messages for “emergencies.”
51 If people call you “Pastor,” let them.
52 “Amazing” and “Joey L. Garcia” go together like cup and saucer, soap and
water, Priscilla and Aquila, eucalyptus and the koala. (Wish my name were
Amazing.)

ISA NA NAMANG DECEMBER 16

Kung pinagbibigyan ng Diyos ang lahat ng kapritso ng tao, dapat sana’y matagal na akong tumimbuwang, kinain ng lupa at pinagpiyestahang paulit-ulit ng mga uod at bulate. Bente singko anyos lang ako nun nang hilingin ko sa kanyang kunin na nya ako. Pagod na kako ako. Sawa na ako sa buhay. Ayoko na ng mga responsibilidad. At wasak pa ang puso ko.

Kaya nga, tuwing magbe-bertdey ako, kagaya ngayon, palaging bumabalik ang isip ko dun sa hapon na yun – isang hapong kulay orange ang background ng langit at kulay asul ang foreground ng dagat – habang papalubog ang araw at sinisipa-sipa ko ang buhangin sa beach ng Muscat Intercon.

52 na ako ngayon.
At buhay pa rin.

Sa pagitan ng pagiging bente singko at singkuwenta’y dos, marami pang volumes ng kwento ang nagkahugis at syempre, nagkaroon ng iba’t-ibang settings at cast of characters. Halimbawa, nang mahimasmasan ako sa kabaliwang gusto ko nang mamatay, saka naman ako bumuo, umukit at nagluwal ng mga pangarap sabay tingala sa langit. Gusto kong makarating sa ganito at ganyang lugar, gusto kong magkaroon ng ganito at ganyang bagay, gusto kong makalasap ng ganito at ganyang karanasan. At gusto ko, lahat ng mga pangarap na yun, makamit ko na bago pa man ako tumuntong ng kuwarenta.

Anong bait ng kapalaran at langit!
Nairaos lahat ang nasa wish list!

Pero dahil buhay pa rin, patuloy pa rin ang sabayang pagsagwan at pagpapatianod sa ilog ng buhay. Minsan may nagtanong sa akin. Kung babalikan ko daw ba ang kabataan ko, ano yung bagay na gagawin ko na hindi ko nagawa? Ang bilis gumulong ng time machine sa isip ko. Kaya lang wala akong maisip na bagay na hindi ko nagawa nung bata pa ako. Isa yun sa malalaking bagay na ipinagpapasalamat ko. Habang sumisikad kasi ang araw, sumusukob tayo sa panahong angkop sa edad. At nung kabataan ko, wala akong pinalampas na pagkakataong maaaring malaktawan ko ang mga rumaragasang biyaya ng kabataan. Hirap. Sarap. Bisyo. Ambisyon. Pag-ibig. Sex. Lalo na sa sex!!!

Hirap? Check. Sus, ayoko nang isa-isahin. Futile exercise. Pero yung nakaranas ka na ng katakot-takot na hirap, sapat na yun para maging matibay ka. Sapat na yun para tuldukan ang kahirapan. Sapat na yun para naising makatikim naman ng sarap.

Bisyo? Check. Kung gagawa raw ng maraming mali sa buhay, mas mabuting gawin yun habang maaga pa. Kasi may panahon pang natitira para itama yun. Yung pagbibisyo ko, mas nangyari yun bilang bahagi ng pag-aaral. Walang dahilang rasyunal. Basta gusto ko lang. At nang naranasan ko nang malasing sa alak, mabangag sa drugs, manghina ang baga sa sigarilyo, matalo sa sugal at sa sari-sari pang bisyong nakakahiya na lang ipangalandakan pa, umayaw na rin ako. Basta ayoko na lang.

Ambisyon? Check. Yun kasi ang compass. Parang ganito lang: kung pupunta ka sa Divisoria, ang sasakyan mong jeep ay yung may karatulang Divisoria. Otherwise, hindi ka makakarating dun. Sa dinami-dami ng mga bagay na sabay-sabay umaasalto sa utak, puso at laman ng kabataan, mahirap pumalaot na walang direksyon. Ewan ko kung paanong sa kabila ng maraming sitsit at kantyaw para maging mapagpabaya, meron pa ring nanaig na disiplinang nakasilip sa mga araw na darating pa. Kahit naging pakawala ako sa pagpapasasa sa mga bago at kakaibang karanasan, laging nakabaon sa isip ko na lilipas din ang panahong bata ka.

Pag-ibig? Check.
Sex? Ehem.

Milestone sa akin nung nag-kuwarenta ako. Pakiramdam ko, doon ko pa lang hinubad yung pagkabata. At kung totoong nagsisimulang “mabuhay” ang isang tao pagtuntong ng kuwarenta, aba, dose anyos na ako ngayon. Na marami na rin namang nahigop na sabaw ng karunungan mula sa iba't-ibang kaldero ng buhay.

Tulad ng sinasabi sa Desiderata: “Take kindly the counsel of years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.” Yan ang gusto kong mangyari pagtanda ko. Maging graceful. Maiwan ang kakirihan, kakitiran, kakulitan ng kabataan. Hindi naman sa aspetong pisikal yun ha? Pero sa pananaw. Kasi pwede pa rin naman sigurong tumawa nang malakas. Hindi ko yata kayang hindi tumawa na parang hyena. Kasi yun na ako.

Ayoko nang gawing big deal, lalo na ng iba, ang pag-iisa ko. Isang estudyante ng La Salle ang nag-interview sa akin tungkol sa single-blessedness. Malungkot daw ba ang maging single? E, lahat ba ng married masaya? Mukhang defensive ano? Pero ang totoo, hindi ko naranasang naging malungkot dahil single ako. Nalulungkot ka sa ibang bagay sa buhay, pero hindi dahil sa pag-iisa. Sa katunayan, maraming yugto ang buhay ko na ang pinakamasasayang bahagi, kapag naaalala ko, ay yung nag-iisa ako. Kasi sa pag-iisa ang pinakikisamahan mo lang ang sarili mo. May mga pagkakataong gusto mo na may kasama ka, pero hindi para kumapit sa kanya na para kang pilay, kundi gusto mo lang na may kasama sa isang partikular na okasyon. Hindi ako nakaramdam ng inadequacy o kakulangan; ang totoo, nakakaramdam ka lang ng kakulangan kung sa iba mo iaasa ang sarili mong kaligayahan.

Tanggap ko na ring gradweyt na ako sa drama ng puso. With honors pa! Sapat nang sa napakarami at paulit-ulit na pagkakataon naranasan kong magmahal at mahalin nang sapat sa sukat, kahit medyo labis pero hindi kulang. Kaya matagal nang winakasan ang paghahanap. Kapag tinatanggap mo ang isang bagay nang maluwag sa dibdib, mas nagiging payapa ka. Ayaw mo nang balikan yung panahong hindi-ka-makakain-hindi-ka-makatulog-lagi-kang-bagabag-dahil-pinaghahalo-ang-tamis- at-pait-ng-paglalapat-ng-puso. Kasi nga, may edad ka na. At hindi na bagay sa may edad na nagmumukhang tanga pa sa mga usaping pampuso.

Walong taon pa bago ako makakuha ng 20% diskwento sa maraming bagay. Mahaba-habang panahon pa rin yun. Marami pa akong magagawa. Kung loloobin ng Dios, mag-aaral pa ako sa darating na pasukan. Manonood ng sine minsan sa isang linggo. Susubaybay sa Billboard at sa PEP at sa Inquirer at sa People at sa Click the City. Magbabasa ng libro. Gagawa ng libro. Susulat ng libro. Mag-iimpok para sa higit pang pagtanda. Dadalisayin ang sarili bilang paghahanda sa pagtanda. Lilinisin ang kalooban para hindi kayamutan at iwasan sa pagtanda. Magpapalampas at magpapatawad. Magkukuwenta ng gastos at gagastusin. Magte-tennis. Magpapamasahe. Kakain ng masasarap. Magliliwaliw. Makikipagngitian pa rin. Makikipagpalitan ng cellphone number. Magmamahal sa magulang at mga kapatid at mga pamangkin at mga apo. Maghahanap ng mga bagong kaibigan habang idinadambana ang mga lumang kaibigan na siyang nagpapayaman, nagpapalalim, nagpapatotoo ng pagiging tao ko. Hindi na ipagpapaliban ang pagtikim ng mga lalasapin pang sarap, bawal man o hindi, dahil paubos na nang paubos ang mga dahong nakakapit sa tangkay ng oras.

Makikipagsaya pa rin sa mundo habang humahanap ng panahong makikipagniig sa sarili na kawangis ng Dios at samakatuwid ay kauri ng Dios na kahit pira-pirasong nakakalat sa lahat ng mga nilikhang lalang ng kanyang kamay at kapangyahiran, ay nananatiling buo.

2.28.11

I drafted this letter to Norrie, today's birthday celebrant, on January 17, 2004.
I am not sure if I sent this or not, or if he received this or not.
But to ponder the celebration of his day and the thoughts of that day seven years ago, here it is:

nori dearest,

maligayang bati sa inyong paglipat. panibagong mga kasaysayan na naman ang mabubuo at magwawakas sa apat na dingding ng bago mong bahay. ilan na naman kaya ang mga bagong panauhing kakatok? maninikluhod para sila’y iyong tapunan ng oras at ligaya? ilang mga sandali na naman ng katahimikan ang babasagin ng tinig ni josh groban, habang ikaw nama’y inaanod sa paninimdim? ilang pagbubuo ng mga balak at pangarap na naman ang mangyayari sa loob at labas ng mga silid ng bahay?

mabuti at sa pag-iisa ay nagkakaroon ka ng kalayaan. kalayaang makapag-isip, makadama, makadilat. kaya lang, nami-miss kita. lalo na sa mga panahong pagod ako at gusto kong may karamay at kakuwentuhan at ka-lakwatsahan. kahapon, maaga akong lumabas ng opisina dahil masama ang pakiramdam ko. may ipinakiusap sa akin si harry na gawin para sa kanya, kaya pinagbigyan ko. dumaan ako sa metropolis alabang. yung lugar na siya mong pinag-aabangan ng sasakyan pauwi sa sunshine tuwing sunset. tapos, pumunta ako sa southmall para manood ng KILL BILL volume 1 na ang bida ay si uma thurman. alam kong magugustuhan mo ang bakbakan na ang bida ay babae.

mas gusto kong manahimik ngayong mga araw na ito sa kabila ng napakaraming problemang dinadala ko sa ngayon. at sa mga pasanin ng tatay at nanay na pasanin ko rin naman. hindi na rin ako nakaka-exercise, kahit na gusto kong mag-tennis. a week ago, nagising akong medyo masakit ang kaliwang bahagi ng balakang ko. naaalala ko tuloy yung time na immobile ako for a week because of the same pain. ang huling hawak ko ng raketa ay noong naglaro tayo sa citadella. nandoon pa rin ang interest ko, kaya lang ang pinakarurok yata nito ay noong nasa kasikatan ang pagiging magkaribal ni steffi at monica. nang masaksak si seles, sinaksak na rin ang interest ko sa tennis. bantayan mo si maria shaparova at si ashley harkleroad, maliban sa muling pagbabalik ng mga williams na nasa #3 at #11 positions sa ngayon, at sa pag-iisnaban ng magkababata at magkababayang justine at kim. ikinasal last year si justine. ikakasal naman this year si kim. sa mga lalake, ano pa ang pupuntahan ng tennis matapos magretiro ni pete at wala nang panapat kay andre? wala na rin si goran. mahina na ang palakpak kay guga. tumuntong lang sandali sa hagdan ng #1 si marcelo at bumaba na ulit. kahit sabihin pang namamayagpag si roger sa kanyang tagumpay sa wimbledon at si juan carlos sa roland garros, parang kulang sila sa luningning. agree ka ba?

marami pa rin namang gustong makipagkaibigan. may mga tumatawag. may mga nag-iimbita. may mga nagte-text. kaya lang, wala akong panahon na maibigay para dito. ewan ko ba. ganun ko siguro pinagbubuhusan ng panahon ang pagtatrabaho nang sa ganoon, malibang rin ako sa gitna ng kaabalahan. tinatanong mo kung ano ang ginagawa ko pag nalilibugan ako? ha-ha-ha!!! ano pa ba ang dapat gawin kundi manalangin. at nagpapamasahe pagkatapos.

dalawang gabi na ang nakararaan, medyo naligalig ako. habang pasakay ako ng tricycle pauwi sa augustus, itinanong sa akin ng driver kung saan ako ihahatid. for a brief 10 seconds, hindi ko maalala ang street name at blangko talaga ang isip ko. it was a short span of time but it seemed forever. hindi ko alam. talaga kayang papalubog na ang araw ko?

J
january 17, 2004

And six months later, eto pa ang isa:

dearest nori,

read your story. i can relate to the ambivalence of being in the midst of letting go and moving on or staying put and going with the flow. but i guess you made the overly overdue right decision. what is there to be afraid of? the unknown future is held in the palms of a known God who knows you and loves you in turn.

i pray the forthcoming chapters will be filled with new life-sized characters, gripping plots, exciting twists and turns that will make you wonder why you have not thought of walking the yellow brick road in the first place. make the most of this -your whole new world!

all love,
joey
july 13, 2004

quite honestly, i can't remember the context.

happy birthday, norrie!


REFLECTIONS
Joshua 4-6

Joshua 4:23-24
For the LORD your God dried up the Jordan before you until you had crossed over. The LORD your God did to the Jordan just what he had done to the Red Sea when he dried it up before us until we had crossed over. He did this so that all the peoples of the earth might know that the hand of the LORD is powerful and so that you might always fear the LORD your God.

* Is the Jordan a validation of the Red Sea episode under Moses designed for the doubters?


Joshua 5:13-15
Now when Joshua was near Jericho, he looked up and saw a man standing in front of him with a drawn sword in his hand. Joshua went up to him and asked, “Are you for us or for our enemies?” “Neither,” he replied, “but as commander of the army of the LORD I have now come.” Then Joshua fell facedown to the ground in reverence, and asked him, “What message does my Lord have for his servant?” 15The commander of the LORD’S army replied, “Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy.” And Joshua did so.

* Is this a reprise of the Lord’s encounter with Moses in the desert of Haran?


Joshua 6
The Fall of Jericho

* Another reprise of the wars led by Moses?

2.27.11

A page from the past.
A thank-you letter to people who ministered to me.
Including the one who celebrates his birthday today, Kuya Rollie.


I am taking a few moments to reflect amidst the busyness of my day-by-day routine.

The first thought that comes to mind is kindness. Perhaps, it was warranted by the theme of a Bible Study I conducted a while back: the Shunamite woman’s kindness to Elisha – inviting him to lunch and constructing a fully-furnished upper room for him.

I will not claim to be a man of God Elisha was. I will not even suppose I come close. But with all humility and sense of wonder, I am grateful at the chance I was afforded to be of service in God’s vast vineyard.

I am grateful too for the insuperable amount of kindness I receive from people touched by God to be supportive of me. Kuya Ed Manalo. Kuya Jun Manalang. Kuya Harry Tria. Kuya Rollie Reyes. Kuya Rene Perlas. You never fail to remember me whenever you come home for a brief holiday, even if sometimes I fail to acknowledge your presence or even find time to give you a good time.

Let me be more specific. When I look at my URIAN book and the garden landscape at home, I am reminded of Kuya Ed’s generosity; when I delighted my parents with a wrist-watch set, I know they were courtesy of Kuya Jun’s “lunch money”; when I inspect my closet and find toiletries and perfume and clothes and CDs of classical music and other entertainment packages, I go teary-eyed and thank God for Kuya Rollie; when I see a creamy rolled-carpet, a CD case, a portable discman, a leather bag and other small what-nots, I am reminded of Kuya Harry’s thoughtfulness; and when I see some of the mind-and-heart-changing books in my library, I know Kuya Rene had me in mind even when he was buying them.

But the list does not stop there. Ate Irma and Ate Mila forward text loads to me every so often. Kuya Hermie from UAE sends bottles of perfume as does Kuya Ruel. Dom, too. Amir, in spite of. And Karlo.

Like the Shunamite woman, you gave kindness out of the wellspring of your heart. Like Elisha, I feel honored. And I am left with a fervent wish that I could somehow reciprocate your kindness.

Hopefully, here and soon.

Happy Birthday!


REFLECTIONS
Joshua 1-3

Joshua’s turn to be awed by God’s promises and wishes:

Joshua 1:5
I will never leave you nor forsake you.

Joshua 1:8
Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it.

To a fledgling leader and the multitude of responsibilities that lay before him, what could “Be strong and take courage” mean?

Joshua 2
Rahab – the lying prostitute!!!
And yet, she received favors!
Now, I do not want to make a sport of the fact that prostitutes and liars can be given favors – but this only proves that God is sovereign. He only can decide – and wisely – on a case-to-case basis.

Joshua 3
Another miracle crossing the Jordan.
However scientific incidents like this (e.g. Red Sea, etc.) are explained, my heart maintains that God is completely capable of making miracles and miracles being what they are require no explanation.

2.26.11

Is it possible, given this day, that not even a single fleeting thought knocks at the doors of the mind?

For each day devoid of pain and rid of regret
without a tinge of fear and anxiety
sans trouble or sickness
lacking in grief and worry
short of the extraordinary load or burden
no emergencies nor exigencies
none of the drama of the heart
not even the sting of unmet expectations
a day so regular and common
exclusive of sordidness and meanness
God,
this is a beautiful day
where one can bask in the glory
of ordinariness.

And yet,
how can one trivialize
the God
who resides
even in the mundane!


REFLECTIONS
Deuteronomy 32-34

Deuteronomy 32:46-47
Take to heart all the words I have solemnly declared to you this day, so that you may command your children to obey carefully all the words of this law. They are not just idle words for you—they are your life.

* And the words mostly dealt with idolatry. No other god but God.

Deuteronomy 32:51-52
This is because both of you broke faith with me in the presence of the Israelites at the waters of Meribah Kadesh in the Desert of Zin and because you did not uphold my holiness among the Israelites. 52Therefore, you will see the land only from a distance; you will not enter the land I am giving to the people of Israel.”

* Moses’ shortcomings:
- he broke faith with God in the presence of the Israelites.
- he did not uphold God’s holiness among the Israelites.

Moses’ punishments:
- he will see the Promised Land only from a distance.
- he will not enter the land God is giving to Israel.

Tribute to Moses

Deuteronomy 34:10-12
Since then, no prophet has risen in Israel like Moses, whom the LORD knew face to face, who did all those miraculous signs and wonders the LORD sent him to do in Egypt—to Pharaoh and to all his officials and to his whole land. For no one has ever shown the mighty power or performed the awesome deeds that Moses did in the sight of all Israel.

2.25.11

My pastor’s musings on his 56th birthday as delivered on “True Love Sings” tonight.

Life is Not Short

Life is not short nor long.
God ordained its length so it must be just right.
Life becomes
short and vexing only when throttled full-speed on needless business;
long and tiring when slow-motioned in idleness.

With the right deed, place, and time
there should be no big need to longingly look backward nor forward:
no putting on hold and wasting a very present, cash moment
only to wallow in the very spent past
or gaze at a very distant, promissory-note future.
Living the moment would do.

So when earthly time is up,
the heart won’t fear nor regret
but would only gratefully, graciously, gladly yield this present breath
to inhale the next in a yet another life in another place and time.

Minimize pain.
Maximize pleasure.
Do the most good.

Get a life!
Live life to the fullest.
Then gladly meet your Maker.


REFLECTIONS
Deuteronomy 29-31

Compare
Deuteronomy 29:4
But to this day the LORD has not given you a mind that understands or eyes that see or ears that hear.

Deuteronomy 29:29
The secret things belong to the LORD our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law.

* The Lord decides what we can and cannot learn/understand in this lifetime?
Does this mean, he has designated also those who can and cannot?
Therefore, he decides who becomes matalino and not?

* The “secret” things have also been revealed to those who he likes to reveal them to? But are the secrets of God really knowable?
Or do people only perceive to know what they think they know?
Kasi, if they know the secret, hindi na secret yun.

And granting that the secret is shared by God to a chosen few, does that mean God
wants these chosen ones to share the secret with anyone? Or is there an exclusive
club of truth-seekers and secret-keepers?


The Viability of Obedience

Deuteronomy 30:11-14
Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach. It is not up in heaven, so that you have to ask, “Who will ascend into heaven to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?” Nor is it beyond the sea, so that you have to ask, “Who will cross the sea to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?” No, the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart so you may obey it.

Deuteronomy 31
Key Words: Be strong and take courage!!!

2.24.11

One of the few songs that made me cry when I listened to its lyrics is the song “Mas Mahal na Kita Ngayon”. Was I a victim or perpetrator of child abuse?

Mas mahal na kita ngayon higit pa kaysa noon
Mas mahal na kita ngayon at sa habang panahon
Wala akong pakialam sa aking nakaraan
Kahit na ako’ypinagtatawanan
Ang mahalaga’y mas mahal na kita ngayon

Dahil
Di mo na ako ‘tinutulak sa ating hagdanan
Di mo na nilalagyan ng lason ang ulam
At sa gabi pag ako’y tulog nang mahimbing
Di mo na ako tinatakpan ng unan
Di mo na sinusubsob ang mukha ko sa kalan
Di mo na ako sinisipa sa aking harapan
Mas makinis na rin ang balat sa dibdib
Dahil hinding-hindi mo na ako ipinakukulam
Ang hapdi at kirot na sinapit ko noon
Di ko na ramdam pagkat mas mahal na kita ngayon

Mas mahal na kita ngayon, wag ka nang magtatanong
Basta’t mahal na kita ngayon yan ang lagi kong tugon
Kahit di mo nakikita o nararamdaman
Ang aking tuwa ay walang paglagyan
Ang alam ko lang mas mahal na kita ngayon

Dahil
Di mo na pinapakain ng para sa pusa
Di mo na pinipitik ang mata ng pigsa
At pag sinabi mo sa king damit ko’y maganda
Di na masyadong malakas ang iyong tawa
Di mo na ako pinasisinghot ng paminta
Di mo na nilalagyan ng langgam sa tenga
Hindi na kulay dugo ang aking paningin
Dahil hindi na hinihiwa ng blade sa mata
Ang hapdi at kirot na sinapit ko noon
Di ko na ramdam pagkat mas mahal na kita ngayon
Ang mahalaga’y mas mahal na kita ngayon

Dahil
Di mo na kinukuwento Satanista ko
At ang Nanay ko’y ni-rape ng isang maligno
Nabawasan na rin ang bukol sa ulo
Dahil hindi mo na ako pinapalo ng tubo
Di mo na pinapalayas nang nakahubo
Di mo na pinapaligo ng bagong kulo
Medyo hindi na rin ako nagmumukhang bungo
Dahil hindi mo na dino-donate ang aking dugo
Ang hapdi at kirot na sinapit ko noon
Di ko na ramdam pagkat mas mahal na kita ngayon
Kahit nasaan ka man mas mahal na kita ngayon
Ang cute mo naman
Bagay ka sa iyong ataul.
(Hay, salamat!)


REFLECTIONS
Deuteronomy 26-28

Deuteronomy 26
The remembrance of tithing and the firstfruits!

Deuteronomy 27
The large stone cast in plaster
The remembrance of neighborly covenants

Deuteronomy 28
The extremities of blessings and curses

2.23.11

Today is this piece’s thirty-third birthday.

GUSTO KITA!!!

1.
gusto kita
at alam ko kung bakit
gusto kita kasi
mabuti kang tao para magustuhan.
gusto kita kasi
kapag nagkukuwento ako sa iyo
ng espesyal na bagay,
alam mong espesyal iyon.
at saka tinatandaan mo iyon
nang matagal na matagal.
itinatanong mo pa,
“natatandaan mo ba noong
may sinabi kang espesyal sa akin?”
tapos maaalala nating pareho.
kapag may iniisip akong mahalaga,
sa palagay mo, mahalaga rin iyon.
magaganda ang naiisip natin.
kapag may sinasabi akong nakakatawa,
tumatawa ka.
sa tingin ko tuloy, kengkoy ako!

2.
gusto kita kasi
alam mo kung saan ang kiliti ko
at hindi mo ako kinikiliti doon.
maliban sa konting hipo,
paminsan-minsan.
teka!
pero kapag kinikiliti mo ako
alam ko rin kung saan
kita kikilitiin.
sira-ulo ka,
kaya gusto kita.
diyos ko! ganyan ka ba kasira?
akala ko, ako na ang pinaka-sira
meron pa pala – ikaw!
hi-hi-hi!!!
gusto kita kasi
alam mo kung kailan dapat
maging seryoso
siguro sa makalawa
siguro, hindi na!
pero naku, huli na!
pareho na tayong sira,
matagal na!

3.
lagi tayong naglolokohan.
minsan hindi tayo nag-uusap
basahan lang ng sular.
basta puro lakwatsa.
dadaan tayo sa ilalim ng bakod,
maglalaro sa mga tagong lugar.
kung para akong pusa sa bubong,
ikaw rin.
kung nagkukunwari akong nalulunod
nagkukunwari ka namang sasagipin ako.
kung naghahanda akong magpaputok
ng cellophane,
magugulat ka naman kunwari.
hindi mo ako hinihiya,
iyan ay dahil gusto mo rin ako.
talagang gusto mo rin ako, di ba?
ganyan tayo palagi,
araw-araw.
kung aalis ako,
aalis ka rin.
kung nasa bahay lang ako,
pinadadalhan mo ako ng postcard.
at saka binibisita mo ako.
hindi iyong basta mo na lang sinasabing,
“sige, saka na lang tayo magkita. bye!”
hindi ganoon.
kaya lalo kitang nagustuhan.
kapag sabay tayong namamasyal
tapos naligaw ako,
ikaw iyong sumisigaw para makita ako.
ganito ang sigaw mo:
“hoy, nandito ako.
lumabas ka sa pinagtataguan mo!”

4.
gusto kita kasi
kapag malungkot ako
hindi mo ako kaagad pinapasaya.
minsan kasi, mas mabuti kung malungkot ka.
siyempre, hindi lahat ng oras
dapat masaya ka.
kailangan, malaman mo rin iyong
ibang bagay.
unti-unti.
dahan-dahan.
tapos, bigla!

5.
gusto kita kasi
kapag galit ako sa iyo,
nagagalit ka rin sa akin.
kasi, alangan namang
matuwa ka.
naks!
ang galing-galing mo talaga!
kaya minsan, gusto kitang suntukin
sa ilong!

6.
gusto kita kasi
minsan kapag masama ang tiyan ko,
at saka napapa-“kuwan” ako,
hindi mo ako pinagtatawanan.
sinasabi mo pa:
“nangyari na rin sa akin iyan minsan!”
talaga naman, eh.
kapag nananakit ang katawan mo,
kunwari ako rin.
para pareho tayo.

7.
gusto kita kasi
kapag nakakakita ka ng dalawang bulaklak
tig-isa tayo.
kapag nakakakita ako ng apat,
tigalawa tayo.
kapag tatlo ang nakita natin,
nagtitinginan na lang tayo.
minsan suwerete tayo,
minsan hindi.
kapag nabalian ka ng kamay,
mababalian din ako ng kamay.
type ko yatang sabay mabali ang
kamay natin.
tutuksuhin mo ako.
tutuksuhin kita.
tapos magsisisi tayo pareho.
susulatan natin ng maraming pangalan
ang balot na semento
at magdo-drowing tayo ng tao
tapos ipapakita natin sa iba.
maiinggit sila.
sasabihin nila:
“sana bali rin ang kamay ko!”

8.
gusto kita kasi – ewan ko ba –
pero – lahat ng nangyayari sa akin,
mas maganda kapag kasama kita!
wala akong natatandaang pangyayari
na hindi kita nagustuhan.
sobra, pero totoo iyon.
walang biro.
gusto kita kasi – kasi – kasi
kung kasama kita
ang pasko nagiging february 14
kung meron nga lang tayong drum at saka
torotot, at saka kabayo at saka
trak ng bumbero,
puwede na tayong magparada.
parada ng ano?
ng mga sira-ulo.
tayong dalawa siyempre sa unahan.
naiintindihan mo ba ang
ibig kong sabihin?
kahit na ika-40 araw ng hulyo
o agosto
o kahit na sa kailaliman ng
araw ng mga patay
o kahit na sa sasuluk-sulukan ng
enero
ikaw pa rin ang pipiliin ko
at ako pa rin ang pipiliin mo,
nang paulit-ulit.
ganoon lagi ang mangyayari.
ewan ko kung bakit.
siguro, talagang hindi ko pa
lubos na alam kung –
kung bakit gusto kita.
bakit nga ba?
gusto kita kasi –
gusto kita kasi –
ah, basta gusto kita!

(isinulat sa rizal park, maynila
february 23, 1978)


REFLECTIONS
Deuteronomy 23-25

A few interesting points:

Deuteronomy 23
On illegitimacy
v2
No one born of a forbidden marriage nor any of his descendants may enter the assembly of the LORD, even down to the tenth generation.

On the Lord’s “change of heart”
v3
No Ammonite or Moabite or any of his descendants may enter the assembly of the LORD, even down to the tenth generation.
* Ruth, the great grandmother of the Lord is a Moabite.

On “pagtanaw ng utang na loob”
v7
Do not abhor an Egyptian, because you lived as an alien in his country.

On “ebak” and indecency
vv12-14
Designate a place outside the camp where you can go to relieve yourself. As part of your equipment have something to dig with, and when you relieve yourself, dig a hole and cover up your excrement. For the LORD your God moves about in your camp to protect you and to deliver your enemies to you. Your camp must be holy, so that he will not see among you anything indecent and turn away from you.

On runaway slaves
v15-16
If a slave has taken refuge with you, do not hand him over to his master. Let him live among you wherever he likes and in whatever town he chooses. Do not oppress him.

On earnings from “indecent” profession
v18
You must not bring the earnings of a female prostitute or of a male prostitute into the house of the LORD your God to pay any vow, because the LORD your God detests them both.


Deuteronomy 24
On marriage and call of duty
v5
If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married.

On justice
v16
Fathers shall not be put to death for their children, nor children put to death for their fathers; each is to die for his own sin.

On “pautang” and kindness
vv10-3
When you make a loan of any kind to your neighbor, do not go into his house to get what he is offering as a pledge. Stay outside and let the man to whom you are making the loan bring the pledge out to you. If the man is poor, do not go to sleep with his pledge in your possession. Return his cloak to him by sunset so that he may sleep in it. Then he will thank you, and it will be regarded as a righteous act in the sight of the LORD your God.


Deuteronomy 25
On enjoying the fruit of labor
v4
Do not muzzle an ox while it is treading out the grain.

On “pakialamerang” wife
vv11-12
If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity.

2.22.11

This was another article that made the rounds of e-mails during the Arroyo administration.

WALANG KUWENTA ANG PILIPINAS

Hindi ko na mapigilan ang sarili ko. Sukang-suka na ko sa mga nangyayari sa bansang 'to! Walang katapusang corruption, walang kamatayang pangbabatikos, pagbabatuhan ng tae at pagpapa-taasan ng ihi ng mga pulitiko sa bawat isa, walang tigil na imbestigasyon ng kung ano-anong isyu pero wala namang matinong resolusyon, walang puknat na pag-aagawan ng kapangyarihan sa pagitan ng mga partido, patuloy na pagdami ng tamad at tangang Pilipino, patuloy na pakikipaglaban ng ideolohiyang wala namang silbi.

Ang gobyerno ng Pilipinas, talo pa ang septic tank na hinihigop ng Malabanan? Saksakan ng dumi at napakabaho. Kaya hindi nakakapagtaka na ang Pilipinas ang isa sa pinakamahirap at corrupt na bansa sa mundo. Kasi lahat sila bulok, lahat sila walang kwenta. Lahat sila sugapa sa kapangyarihan at sa pera.

ANAK NG TETENG! !$#%Q!&!* @!!!!! KAHIT KRISTIYANO AKO, HINDI KO MAPIGILANG MAGMURA AT HILINGIN SA DIYOS (MINSAN NGA PATI SA DEMONYO) NA MAMATAY NA SILANG LAHAT AT I-BBQ SILA NANG HABANG-BUHAY SA IMPIERNO. SINO’NG "SILA"? EH DI MGA CORRUPT NA GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS AND WORKERS, MGA TAMBAY NA PILIPINO NA ANG LALAKI NG KATAWAN PERO HINDI NAMAN NAGTRATRABAHO AT HINDI NAGBABAYAD NG TAX, MGA MAYAYAMAN AT ARTISTANG TAX EVADERS, PATI MGA AKTIBISTA, NPA AT IBA PANG IDEOLOGICAL GROUPS NA HINDI NAGBABAYAD NG TAX PERO PANG-GULO!!! MAMATAY NA KAYO!!!

Lagi na lang sinasabi ng mga pulitiko: Ipaglaban ang masa!Tulungan ang masa! Mahalin ang masa! PUNYETA! MASA LANG BA ANG TAO SA PILIPINAS? SINO BA TALAGA ANG BUMUBUHAY SA PUNYETANG BANSANG TO? SAAN BA GALING ANG PANGPAGAWA NG MGA TULAY AT KALYE? SAAN BA GALING ANG PORK BARREL? SAAN BA GALING ANG PERANG KINUKURAKOT NYO? KAMI NA MGA MANGGAGAWA AT MIDDLE CLASS NA BAGO PA MAKUHA ANG SWELDO BAWAS NA ? KAMI ANG BUMUBUHAY SA WALANG KWENTANG BANSA NA 'TO!!!!!!!!!

BAKIT YAN BANG MGA MASANG YAN NA LAGI NA LANG SENTRO NG PLATAPORMA NG MGA PULITIKO EH NAGBABAYAD BA NG TAX???!!!!
F**K YOU! KAHIT ISA SA MGA NAG-RA-RALLYING MGA SQUATTER NA
YAN, KAHIT SINGKO HINDI NAG-RE-REMIT YAN SA BIR! PERO PINAPAKINGGAN BA KAMI NG GOBYERNO? LAGI NA LANG OPINYON NG MASA ANG INIINTINDI NG GOBYERNO. KUNG SINO ANG NAG-RA-RALLY, SA EDSA, SILA ANG NASUSUNOD. KUNG SINO ANG MAS MALAKAS SUMIGAW PERO WALA NAMANG ECONOMIC CONTRIBUTION,SILA LAGI ANG FOCUS PAG MAY PROBLEMA. SILA LAGI ANG BIDA. KAMING MGA ORDINARYONG OFFICE WORKERS, OFW'S, LABORERS AT IBA PANG NAG-TRA-TRABAHO AT NAGBABAYAD NG TAX ? KAMI ANG NAGPAPAKAHIRAP PARA BUHAYIN ANG PILIPINAS. KAMI ANG MGA TUNAY NA BAYANI NG BANSA!!!

Tuwing nakikita ko ang payslip ko, nag-iinit ang ulo ko at gusto kong maiyak sa inis. Napakalaki ng tax na binabawas sa akin pero ginagamit lang sa walang kwentang bagay ang perang pinaghirapan ko. Lahat ng pagtitipid ginagawa ko para suportahan ang sarili ko, pamilya ko at ang punyetang bansang to. Ni hindi ako makabili ng chicken and spaghetti meal sa Jollibee kahit gutom na gutom na ko. Nag-tya-tyaga ako sa waffle na tig-P10, o kaya pag may konting pera, junior bola-bola siopao sa Mini-Stop sa halangang P20.

Eh kung yung pera ko na pinapangbayad sa tax ay sa kin na lang napunta, eh di sana nakakapanood pa ko ng sine at least 2 beses sa isang buwan. Nakabili na sana ako ng bagong rubber shoes. Nakapagpagawa na sana ako ng sarili kong bahay. Yung tax na binabayad ko, karamihan nun derecho sa bulsa ng mga corrupt na mga government officials at workers. Habang hirap na hirap akong i-budget ang pera ko, sila naman nagpapakasarap sa mga mansion, SUV's at luxury cars pa ang dina-drive nila, samantalang ako sa pedicab lang sumasakay! P****** INA! PERA KO YANG PINAPAGPAPASASAAN NYO!!!!!

Yung tax na binabayad ko, pinapangsuporta sa mga mahihirap. Saan ba galing ang pera pangpagawa ng housing at pagtulong sa mga mahihirap, di ba sa mga manggagawa na nagbabayad ng buwis! Pero karamihan ng mahihirap, kung umasta kala mo inaapi sila ng sobra. SA TOTOO LANG ‘NO, KAYA ANG MGA MAHIHIRAP LALONG NAGHIHIRAP KASI MGATAMAD! Ang daming mga tambay sa kalye na walang trabaho pero ang laki ng katawan. Eh kung sila ba nagkargador sa pier eh di sana may pera sila. TAPOS WALA NA NGANG PERA, ANAK PA NANG ANAK! PUNYETA! LALO NYO LANG PINAPADAMI ANG TAMAD AT TANGA SA MUNDO!!!!!

Naaawa ako sa mga batang pakalat-kalat sa kalye at namamalimos. Imbes na nag-aaral, dumadagdag lang sila sa bilang ng mga future criminals sa Pilipinas. Hindi ako magtataka na yung batang nakita kong namamalimos sa Cubao, pagkatapos ng ilang taon cellphone snatcher na. YUNG MGA MAGULANG NAMAN DYAN, COMMON SENSE LANG! HIRAP NA HIRAP NA NGA KAYO SA BUHAY, MANGDADAMAY PA KAYO NG IBA?! PAPARAMIHAN NYO PA LAHI NYO! Palibhasa walang mga trabaho at walang pinagkaka-abalahan, kaya nagkakalabitan at nagsusundutan na lang maghapon, magdamag. Sa totoo lang, nakakabilib. Kasi kahit sa ilalim ng tulay o sa kariton lang, nakakabuo pa rin ng bata! Ibig sabihin, maabilidad ang mga Pinoy. Kung gugustuhin, gagawan ng paraan. Kahit sa makipot, mabaho at maduming lugar? SOLVE!

Isa pang mga grupo ng tao na nakakainis, yung mga aktibista, NPA at kung ano-ano pang ideological political groups. Sabi nila, mahal na mahal nila ang Pilipinas kaya pinagpalalaban nila ang kanilang mga adhikain. PUNYETA! EH HINDI RIN KAYO NAGBABAYAD NG TAX! ANG KAKAPAL RIN NG MGA MUKHA NYO! MGA IPOKRITO! MAHAL DAW ANG PILIPINAS AYAW NAMAN MAGBAYAD NG BUWIS! BAKIT MAY BIR COLLECTOR BA SA GITNA NG MENDIOLA AT EDSA?! MAY TAX COLLECTION BA SA BUNDOK?! WALA DIN NAMAN KAYONG MGA TRABAHO! KUNG MAY TRABAHO TALAGA KAYO, HINDI KAYO MAG-RA-RALLY DAHIL SAYANG ANG SWELDO NYO PAG ABSENT KAYO! PAANO NYO MAIPAPAKITA ANG PAGMAMAHAL NYO SA PILIPINAS KUNG WALA NA KAYONG GAWANG MATINO KUNDI MAG-RALLY AT MAMUNDOK??!!!

ISA PA YANG MGA MAYAYAMAN AT MGA ARTISTA, NA NANGDADAYA AT HINDI NAGBABAYAD NG BUWIS. ANG KAKAPAL NG MUKHA NYO! ANG DAMI NYO NA NGANG PERA NANGDADAYA PA KAYO SA TAX!!!! HINDI NYO NAMAN MADADALA SA IMPIERNO YANG MGA KAYAMAN NYO. MASUSUNOG LANG DUN YAN. KAYA LALONG BUMABAGSAK ANG NEGOSYO DITO SA PILIPINAS, KASI MGA NEGOSYANTE MANDARAYA. PATI SHOWBIZ INDUSTRY, BAGSAK NA DIN. KARMA ANG TAWAG DYAN. MGA BALASUBAS KASI.

Sana magkaron ng POLITICAL AND NATIONAL CLEANSING. Alisin (mas maganda kung patayin na lang) ang lahat ng pulitiko at political families sa puwesto. Tibagin ang lahat ng mapanirang organizations at grupo. Itapon sa malayong isla o kaya i-pwersa ng hard labor ang mga sobrang tamad na mga Pilipino. Ihiwalay ang mga bata sa kanilang mga tamad at tangang magulang upang makapag-aral sila at maturuan na maging mabuting tao at mamamayan. Magkaron ng bagong lider na walang political ties at utang na loob sa kahit sino. At higit sa lahat, dapat tax payers lang ang pwedeng bumoto! Kung kinakailangang magka-giyera para magtino ang mga Pilipino, ayos lang. Masyado na kasing matigas ang ulo ng mga tao dito. Gusto ng kalayaan, pero hindi naman handang panagutan ang responsibilidad ng pagiging malaya. Meron daw pinaglalaban na prinsipyo at adhikain pero takot namang mamatay para dito.

Hangga't hindi nagkakaron ng radical change, patuloy na walang kwenta ang Pilipinas at patuloy na magiging tanga ang majority ng mga Pilipino. Sa dami ng nag-mi-migrate na Pilipino sa ibang bansa, dadating ang panahon na minority na lang ng population sa Pilipinas ang may utak. Yung mga magagaling na Pilipino, malamang maubos na. Sobra na kasi silang na-fru-frustrate at na-de-depress sa mga nakikita nila.

Ilang taon pa at aalis na rin ako sa Pilipinas. Wala kong balak na magkaron ng pamilya sa isang bansa na hindi pinapahalagahan ang kontribusyon ng mga taong tunay na bumubuhay dito. Kawawa naman ang magiging anak ko kung dito sya mabubuhay.

Sa totoo lang, broken hearted ako. Minahal ko din ang bansang ito. Pilit kong pinagtatanggol kahit bulok. Nakarating na ko ng ibang bansa, pero pinili kong bumalik. Pero ngayon, ayoko na. Suko na ko. Sayang lang ako sa bansang to. Simple lang naman ang hiling ko. Gusto ko lang mabuhay ng tahimik at maayos. Gusto ko na kahit paano eh maipagmalaki ang Pilipinas. Pero wala eh. Doomed to be jologs ang bansang ‘to. Alam ko marami pa ang umaasa at naniniwala sa pagbabago. Good luck and God bless! Sana tama kayo at mali ako.

REFLECTIONS
Deuteronomy 20-22

Deuteronomy 20:3-4
Do not be fainthearted or afraid; do not be terrified or give way to panic before them. For the LORD your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory.

* Never be afraid of battles you fight.

Deuteronomy 20:19-20
When you lay siege to a city for a long time, fighting against it to capture it, do not destroy its trees by putting an ax to them, because you can eat their fruit. Do not cut them down. Are the trees of the field people, that you should besiege them? However, you may cut down trees that you know are not fruit trees and use them to build siege works until the city at war with you falls.

* For the love of trees

Deuteronomy 21:15-17
If a man has two wives, and he loves one but not the other, and both bear him sons but the firstborn is the son of the wife he does not love, when he wills his property to his sons, he must not give the rights of the firstborn to the son of the wife he loves in preference to his actual firstborn, the son of the wife he does not love. He must acknowledge the son of his unloved wife as the firstborn by giving him a double share of all he has. That son is the first sign of his father’s strength. The right of the firstborn belongs to him.

* This made me smile. How could the Lord even think of this? Does he see an unfaithful husband’s heart?

Deuteronomy 21:23
Anyone who is hung on a tree is under God’s curse.

* Judas?

Deuteronomy 22:5
A woman must not wear men’s clothing, nor a man wear women’s clothing, for the LORD your God detests anyone who does this.

* Beware cross-dressers!

Deuteronomy 22:8
When you build a new house, make a parapet around your roof so that you may not bring the guilt of bloodshed on your house if someone falls from the roof.
* Hazardous construction!


Deuteronomy 22:28-29
If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, he shall pay the girl’s father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the girl, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives.

* What if the raped woman does not want to marry the rapist?

2.21.11

A favorite among the many e-mails forwarded to me:

SULAT NI TATAY AT NANAY

Sa aking pagtanda, unawain mo sana ako at pagpasensyahan.

Kapag dala ng kalabuan ng mata ay nakabasag ako ng pinggan o nakatapon ng sabaw sa hapag-kainan, huwag mo sana akong kagagalitan. Maramdamin ang isang matanda. Nagse-self-pity ako tuwing sinisigawan mo ako.

Kapag mahina na ang tenga ko at hindi ko maintindihan ang sinasabi mo, huwag mo naman sana akong sabihan ng bingi, pakiulit na lang ang sinabi mo o pakisulat na lang. Pasensya ka na, anak. Matanda na talaga ako.

Kapag mahina na ang tuhod ko, pagtiyagaan mo sana akong tulungang tumayo, katulad ng pag-aalalay ko sa iyo noong nag-aaral ka pa lamang lumakad.

Pagpasensyahan mo sana ako kung ako man ay nagiging makulit at paulit-ulit na parang sirang-plaka. Basta pakinggan mo na lang ako. Huwag mo sana akong pagtatawanan o pagsasawaang pakinggan. Natatandaan mo anak noong bata ka pa? Kapag gusto mo ng lobo, paulit-ulit mo ‘yung sasabihin, maghapon kang mangungulit hanggang hindi mo nakukuha ang gusto mo. Pinagtiyagaan ko ang kakulitan mo.

Pagpasensiyahan mo na rin sana ang aking amoy. Amoy-matanda, amoy-lupa. Huwag mo sana akong piliting maligo. Mahina na ang katawan ko. Madaling magkasakit kapag nalamigan, huwag mo sana akong pandirihan. Natatandaan mo noong bata ka pa? Pinagtiyagaan kitang habulin sa ilalim ng kama kapag ayaw mong maligo.

Pagpasensiyahan mo sana kung madalas ako’y masungit, dala na marahil ito ng katandaan. Pagtanda mo, maiintindihan mo rin ako.

Kapag may konti kang panahon, magkuwentuhan naman tayo, kahit sandali lang, inip na ako sa bahay, maghapong nag-iisa. Walang kausap. Alam kong busy ka sa trabaho, subalit nais kong malaman mo na sabik na sabik na akong makakuwentuhan ka, kahit alam kong hindi ka interesado sa mga kuwento ko. Natatandaan mo, anak, noong bata ka pa? Pinagtiyagaan kong pakinggan at intindihin ang pautal-utal mong kuwento tungkol sa iyong teddy bear.

At kapag dumating ang sandali na ako’y magkasakit at maratay sa banig ng karamdaman, huwag mo sana akong pagsawaang alagaan. Pagpasensiyahan mo na sana kung ako man ay maihi o madumi sa higaan, pagtiyagaan mo sana akong alagaan sa mga huling sandali ng aking buhay. Tutal hindi na naman ako magtatagal. Kapag dumating ang sandali ng aking pagpanaw, hawakan mo sana ang aking kamay at bigyan mo ako ng lakas ng loob na harapin ang kamatayan.

At huwag kang mag-alala, kapag kaharap ko na ang Diyos na lumikha, ibubulong ko sa kanya na pagpalain ka sana dahil naging mapagmahal ka sa iyong ama’t ina.



REFLECTIONS
Deuteronomy 17-19

Deuteronomy 17:14-15
When you enter the land the LORD your God is giving you and have taken possession of it and settled in it, and you say, “Let us set a king over us like all the nations around us,” be sure to appoint over you the king the LORD your God chooses.
* Premonition of the choosing of Saul?

The Test of a Prophet
Deuteronomy 18:21-22
“How can we know when a message has not been spoken by the LORD?” If what a prophet proclaims in the name of the LORD does not take place or come true, that is a message the LORD has not spoken. That prophet has spoken presumptuously. Do not be afraid of him.

For Perjurers
Deuteronomy 19:16-19
If a malicious witness takes the stand to accuse a man of a crime, the two men involved in the dispute must stand in the presence of the LORD before the priests and the judges who are in office at the time. The judges must make a thorough investigation, and if the witness proves to be a liar, giving false testimony against his brother, then do to him as he intended to do to his brother.

2.20.11

Still another one of a few noteworthy “copy-paste” articles.

TWENTY ONE

One
Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

Two
Marry the person you love to talk to. As you get older, your conversational skills will be as important as any other.

Three
Don't believe all you hear; spend all you have, or sleep all you want.

Four
When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.

Five
When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.

Six
Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

Seven
Believe in love at first sight.

Eight
Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

Nine
Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

Ten
In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

Eleven
Don't judge people by their relatives.

Twelve
Talk slowly but think quickly.

Thirteen
When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'

Fourteen
Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risks.

Fifteen
Say, 'Bless you!' when you hear someone sneeze.

Sixteen
When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

Seventeen
Remember the three R's : Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

Eighteen
Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

Nineteen
When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

Twenty
Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

Twenty One
Spend some time alone.


REFLECTIONS
Deuteronomy 13-16

No turning away from God!
Or else, die!

Deuteronomy 14:1-2
You are the children of the LORD your God…you are a people holy to the LORD your God. Out of all the peoples on the face of the earth, the LORD has chosen you to be his treasured possession.

And of finances and helping the poor?
Deuteronomy 15:1-2
At the end of every seven years you must cancel debts. This is how it is to be done: Every creditor shall cancel the loan he has made to his fellow Israelite. He shall not require payment from his fellow Israelite or brother, because the LORD’S time for canceling debts has been proclaimed.

Deuteronomy 15:4-6
However, there should be no poor among you, for in the land the LORD your God is giving you to possess as your inheritance, he will richly bless you, if only you fully obey the LORD your God and are careful to follow all these commands I am giving you today. For the LORD your God will bless you as he has promised, and you will lend to many nations but will borrow from none. You will rule over many nations but none will rule over you.

Deuteronomy 15:11
There will always be poor people in the land.

* This is a matter of fact.
So, all anti-poverty stuff comes to nothing?
And should be replaced by poverty alleviation drives?

Deuteronomy 16
The Party Chapter.
Feasts.
Celebrations.
This is what life should be about.

2.19.11

I know I copied this somewhere, but can’t remember where or from whom:

Ang LOVE ay HINDI minamadali. HINDI pinipilit at lalong HINDI kina-career. IT COMES NATURALLY. As in magugulat ka na lang isang araw magiging SIYA ang nasa isip mo. Basta NAISIP mo na lang. Basta. Hindi pinipilit na isipin ha? Mapapangiti ka na lang at basta gagaan ang pakiramdam mo na tipong kahit mukha ka nang tanga eh ok lang sayo, ngiti ka pa rin. Hindi nakabase sa TAGAL ng pinagsamahan. Hindi rin sa DALAS ng pagkikita. Hindi rin sa ILANG BESES na pag-uusap sa phone at lalung-lalo nang hindi sa DALAS ng pagte-text. May MAGIC kasi yan eh. Magic na HINDI naka-cast ng kung sinuman. MAGIC na MATAGAL na palang nandun pero
hindi mo lang namamalayan. Isusugal mo ba yun?! Yung feeling na wala ka ng hahanapin pang iba?! Papabayaan mo bang masira yun?! Wag na kasi kayong magmadali.

Unang-una, PAANO MO BA NASABING MAHAL MO NA SIYA?!? Dahil ba natutuwa ka sa kanya? O kaya naman ay naaaliw ka? Naswe-sweetan ka ba nang sobra sa kanya? Kinikilig ka ba pag nakikita mo siya? At nahi-high kapag naririnig mo na ang boses niya? Eh teka muna baka naman INFATUATED ka lang? O kaya naman, kagaya ng sagot mo BAKA naaaliw ka lang dahil kakaiba siya. May spark na hindi mo maintindihan

Pangalawa, GAANO MO NA BA SIYA KAKILALA? Madali ba siyang mapikon? Paano ba siya ma-bad trip? Madali bang mahalata na may topak siya? Ano bang suot niya pag nasa bahay siya? Shorts ba o pantalon? Nakasando ba siya o naka-tee-shirt lang?
Matagal ba siyang maligo? Kumakain ba siya ng vegetables? Tamad ba siya? Mas gusto ba niyang manood ng tv kaysa magbasa ng libro? Nagpe-play station ba siya? Tatlo ba ang pamangkin niyang lalaki? Makukulit ba yung mga kamag-anak niya?
Green ba ang kulay ng gate ng bahay nila? Sa village ba siya nakatira? May sakayan ba ng jeep na malapit sa kanila? Nagsisimba ba siya linggu-linggo? Kasama ba yung pamilya niya? At nagdadasal ba siya bago matulog? In short, alam mo na nga ba ang mga bagay-bagay – ang mga simpleng bagay – tungkol sa kanya na nagde-determine ng sarili niya as in kung SINO ba talaga SIYA?

Pangatlo, KAYA MO BA SIYANG TANGGAPIN? As in TANGGAPIN nang BUONG-BUO? Sa lahat ng trip niya sa buhay. Sa lahat ng katopakan niya. Sa lahat ng pag-iinarte at pagda-drama niya. Sa lahat ng kasalanang nagawa, ginawa at gagawin pa lang niya. Sa lahat ng naiisip niya, kahit hindi ka kasama dun. Sa lahat ng sasabihin niya. Sa kilos niya. Sa pananamit pa pala niya. Sa pagsasalita. Sa pananaw niya sa buhay. Sa pagtrato niya sa tao, lalo na sa yo. Sa lifestyle niya. Sa uri ng pamilyang meron siya. Sa uri ng kaibigang kasa-kasama niya. Sa style niya pagdating sa love. Sa ka-sweetan niyang natural. Sa paglalambing niya. Sa tawa niyang pagkalakas-lakas. Sa manners niya. Sa pagmumura niya. Sa bisyo niya kung meron man. Sa mga pang-aasar niya sa yo. Sa style niya pagdating sa pagsolve ng problema. Sa problemang maaari ka ring kasama. In short, handa ka bang tanggapin ang BUONG PAGKATAO niya?

Pang-apat , KAYA MO BANG MAGING TOTOO? Kaya mo bang makita yung sarili mo na kasama pa rin siya sa isang sitwasyong pag naisip mo eh mapapaiyak ka na lang sa sakit nang dahil na rin sa kanya? Kaya mo bang magmukhang tanga as in umiyak ng dahil sa kababawan at ibuhos ang mga nararamdaman mo kahit na puro kababawan nga lang naman as in kahit sa harapan niya? Kaya mo bang maging barubal pag kasama mo siya? Yung tipong wala ka ng pakialam mawala man ang manners mo na wala naman talaga. In short, KAYA MO BANG MAGING IKAW KAPAG KASAMA MO NA SIYA??? Yung tipong hindi ka nahihiyang ipakita kung sino ka talaga dahil alam mong HINDI MO LANG SIYA TANGGAP KUNDI TANGGAP KA RIN NIYA NANG BUUNG-BUO RIN.

MGA PIPS!!! TAMA NA kasi ang TRIP. TAMA NA ang pagmamadali. OO, masarap ngang ma-IN LOVE sa isang tao, pero handa ka na ba talaga?


REFLECTIONS
Deuteronomy 10-12

Deuteronomy 10:12-13
What does the LORD your God ask of you but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and to observe the LORD’S commands and decrees that I am giving you today for your own good?

Deuteronomy 11:10-11
The land you are entering to take over is not like the land of Egypt, from which you have come, where you planted your seed and irrigated it by foot as in a vegetable garden. But the land you are crossing the Jordan to take possession of is a land of mountains and valleys that drinks rain from heaven.

* I like this. God’s land is maintenance-free, as he maintains it himself.

Deuteronomy 11:18-21
Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land that the LORD swore to give your forefathers, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth.

Gerizim - blessing
Ebal - curse

2.18.11

I started watching a film called “Vanishing on 7th Street” but I couldn’t keep my eyes from closing not because the film was boring or something like that; it is too early to gauge that from watching the first five minutes of the film but because I was rather tired.

Come to think of it, the stress caused by the “commotion” at home – the hammering, the constant dust, the laborers’ chatter, the calculation of expenses – makes the body and mind grow weary. Yesterday, I managed to select the fixtures that I like to use for the extension of the bathroom. It was a bit exciting having to choose from a load of selections if a bit confusing. Finally, I decided that my bathroom motif will be beige and white. No tiles on the walls save the ones where the bath tub will be installed. And instead of tiles, I will have a large stripe of beige painted on a white canvass.

The color of the flooring is so light, I love it. And the size of the windows will allow more light in the room.

I am over the moon just thinking how my room will look like two months from now.

PS.
Hardin ng Panginoon in the box?


REFLECTIONS
Deuteronomy 7-9

Deuteronomy 7
In one chapter, two faces of God appear:
One, the seemingly unmerciful face:
Destroy them – Hittites, Girgashites, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites – totally. Make no treaty with them, and show them no mercy.

Two, the faithfully loving face:
The LORD did not set his affection on you and choose you because you were more numerous than other peoples, for you were the fewest of all peoples. But it was because the LORD loved you and kept the oath he swore to your forefathers that he brought you out with a mighty hand and redeemed you from the land of slavery, from the power of Pharaoh king of Egypt.


Deuteronomy 8:2
Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands.

* The manna was not only for provision of food, but also for testing: man does not live on bread alone, but on EVERY word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.

Deuteronomy 8:18
It is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth.

* Not because of self, but only because of grace

Deuteronomy 9
The leader in Moses is inspiring.
He deserves the gall to tell the people to their face their shortcomings.

This is probably one of the reasons why leadership is not the foremost of things to be desired. The responsibility and accountability attached to it is energy-sapping. And what earthly rewards does one get?

2.17.11

And then of course, Valentine’s Day came and went.
And then of course, I had no Valentine date.
And then of course, it is a given – by choice.

The reminder of a Barry Manilow song plays on.
“No jolts, no surprises
No crisis arises my life goes along as it should…”

And then of course, I am not ready to take the chance again.
Or be taken in by the viciousness of the cycle that fills you up only for a only while and then leaves you deflated and empty when it’s done with you.

Like the cycle of Barbra Streisand’s songs.
Love Comes from the Most Unexpected Places
The Way He Makes Me Feel
If I Loved You
Lost Inside of You
You Don’t Bring Me Flowers
Left in the Dark
We’re Not Making Love Anymore
Some Good Things Never Last
Coming In and Out of Your Life
Someone That I Used to Love
Heart Don’t Change My Mind
My Heart Belongs to Me
One More Time Around
I Finally Found Someone
Evergreen…

Ha-ha-ha!!!

REFLECTIONS
Deuteronomy 4-6

Come to think of it, was there no one from among the many nations that the Lord ordered put down who was righteous as to call on Him? Or even acknowledged his presence at all?

Deuteronomy 4:7
What other nation is so great as to have their gods near them the way the LORD our God is near us whenever we pray to him?

The only distance between God and us is a prayer.

Deuteronomy 4:15-18
You saw no form of any kind the day the LORD spoke to you at Horeb out of the fire. Therefore watch yourselves very carefully, so that you do not become corrupt and make for yourselves an idol, an image of any shape, whether formed like a man or a woman, or like any animal on earth or any bird that flies in the air, or like any creature that moves along the ground or any fish in the waters below.

Another verse on anti-idolatry.

Deuteronomy 4:29
If…you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul.

Another verse of assurance.

Deuteronomy 5:29
Oh, that their hearts would be inclined to fear me and keep all my commands always, so that it might go well with them and their children forever!

How the Lord yearns that we yield!

Deuteronomy 6:4-5
Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.

The oneness of God.
The need to be one with God.

2.16.11

The worrying part about house construction, renovation, repair and re-modeling is the bit about budget, and therefore, planning is an integral element of house building.

At the beginning of the year, I had a list of things I like to do for the entire year and one of those things that kept constantly coming up is the renovation of the house. It was suggested that I attach a terrace to room where I can lounge at will and when time permits. But to lounge as time permits seems to be a bit challenging – especially because I do not have much of the luxury of time.

So, I decided instead to extend my room. A terrace may be useful at certain times of day depending on mood of course, but an extension of the room is more practical and sensible as I get to use every inch of the new extension day after day.

I signed an MOA to start the renovation last week. Things are shaping up as I write this. I had gone to Home Depot to check on the tiles and the fixtures that will be used to enlarge my bathroom – a new bath tub to be installed! And this is where worrying about the budget comes in.

You see the extension of the room is pegged at a certain amount, and another budget is proposed for the enlargement of the bathroom. I had to differ with the contractor on the cost of the bathroom because it costs almost half the amount for the renovation of the entire room. And since it is going to be weird to have a new room with an old bathroom, I had to think fast.

One cannot start building a house without first calculating how much money he has earmarked for the project – otherwise the construction might grind to a halt. But I am confident that if I buy the materials myself and have them charge the labor, I will manage to save a little bit on the costs.

After the bedroom and the bathroom, the next project is the kitchen and the dining room.

I am excited.


REFLECTIONS
Deuteronomy 1-3

The review starts.
Reviewing one’s life is a good exercise because by it, one gets a glimpse of achievements as well as failures, correct decisions and errors, obedience and rebellion, people pleased and hurt.

The Jews stayed in the desert for 40 years before arriving at the borders of the Promised Land.
The journey took longer than usual.
And for reasons we already know.
But in spite of too much heartache the Lord’s love never wavered.
We never lacked anything, even if we intentionally disobey.

Deuteronomy 3:23-26
At that time I pleaded with the LORD: “O Sovereign LORD, you have begun to show to your servant your greatness and your strong hand. For what god is there in heaven or on earth who can do the deeds and mighty works you do? Let me go over and see the good land beyond the Jordan—that fine hill country and Lebanon.” But because of you the LORD was angry with me and would not listen to me. “That is enough,” the LORD said. “Do not speak to me anymore about this matter."

Why was the Lord too stern with Moses?
What was not being said?
I wonder how many times the Lord has told me, “That is enough!” and I keep on pestering him.

2.15.11

And still another one I like:

Editorial
BRAZEN LIES
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 22:53:00 02/11/2011


LIAR, LIAR, uniform on fire.

If for nothing else, given the helpless outrage you feel at the bald attempt to make a fool of you and your sound faculties, you’re tempted to resort to schoolyard name-calling when confronted with the recent testimony—sworn testimony, let’s be clear about that—of retired Lt. Gen. Jacinto Ligot before the Senate.

At the recent blue ribbon committee hearing looking into the massive corruption involving hundreds of millions of pesos of misused funds in the Armed Forces of the Philippines, Ligot, the military comptroller when Gen. Angelo Reyes was AFP chief of staff, was confronted with records showing that his wife traveled to the United States 42 times, and bought two houses there, one of which she paid for in cold cash amounting to $183,868 in 2002.

The Ligots are said to own, in all, eight pieces of real estate in the US. On one trip, to San Francisco in 1999, Ligot’s wife Erlinda traveled with Reyes’ wife Teresita, and they were gone for three months. In the next five years, they would travel together 12 more times.

Think about it: Ligot is a retired three-star general. You couldn’t rise to that rank without more than a modicum of brains. He must have distinguished himself in his long military career, else why the stars, the medals and the lofty honorific? As comptroller, he held, for several years, one of the most influential positions in the AFP: guardian and dispenser, no less, of its seemingly bottomless cash box.

You wouldn’t know all that, however (you would think you were dealing with a forgetful old fool, except you knew better) from hearing Ligot’s answers to questions raised at the hearing about his wife’s propensity to travel and shop for properties abroad. And, more importantly, where she got all that money to bankroll her lavish lifestyle.

Confronted with the number of times his wife was hopping in and out of airplanes for extended sojourns in the US, Ligot flatly denied knowing about the trips. He was completely in the dark—because his wife might have kept her trips “secret,” he said. At one point Erlinda Ligot was gone from their home for three straight months, but na-ah, the three-star general never noticed.
The houses? It was the first time he saw them, Ligot claimed. And when he asked his wife, in the wake of forfeiture cases by the Sandiganbayan, how on earth they had ended up owning two expensive new houses in a country not known for giving away prime property just like that, especially to foreign visitors, he said he had to stop the questioning pronto because his wife became hysterical. And that was that—subject closed.

There are two conclusions to be drawn from this. One, Ligot must think his countrymen watching the proceedings on primetime TV are stupid enough to fall for such hogwash. Two, such is the seduction of the charmed life all that illicit hoard must have afforded him and his family that Ligot is now willing to risk public ridicule—the loss of any semblance of logic, common sense and truth in what he says, among the basic qualities that would mark him as fit to wear his military uniform—if only to defend and hold on to that almighty kitty.

Here, in a larger sense, is the true tragedy of corruption: the way it transforms men of erstwhile intelligence and distinction into sorry facsimiles of themselves, unable to account for their deceitful actions except through transparently ludicrous fibs and prevarications.

Ligot’s nonsensical rejoinders deserve to be laughed out of the room. But the matter cannot end with painless, inconsequential hilarity—because there is that other, more pressing, matter: the pesky oath he took before his testimony.

The withering, incredulous reactions by his interrogators notwithstanding—“Even our pet dogs or cats, when they go astray, we look for them. What more if it’s your wife missing,” Sen. Jinggoy Estrada observed—Ligot was reminded not once during his appearance that he was speaking under oath, that everything he had to say carried the penalty of perjury should it prove to be untrue.

That he could proffer such unbelievable excuses for the questionable wealth of his family testifies to Ligot’s confidence that none of his bald-faced falsehoods would get him in trouble. In this country, lying through one’s teeth, even in the face of overwhelming evidence, is a no-brainer.

Well then, beginning with Ligot and his AFP cohorts, it’s high time people like them were disabused of such cozy thoughts.


REFLECTIONS
Numbers 34-36

When the Lord assigned Canaan to the Israelites by designating borders and distributing the land evenly to the tribes, it does make one feel that our own lot in life has been pre-selected with its boundaries and limitations. Does that include what station we will occupy in life, what length, what scope, what breadth, what limitations?

Numbers 35:10-12
When you cross the Jordan into Canaan, select some towns to be your cities of refuge, to which a person who has killed someone accidentally may flee. They will be places of refuge from the avenger, so that a person accused of murder may not die before he stands trial before the assembly.

This is cool.
A man is considered innocent until he is proven guilty.
But in our present time, he chooses his own city of refuge.
Until he is found out.

Numbers 35:20-21
If anyone with malice aforethought shoves another or throws something at him intentionally so that he dies or if in hostility he hits him with his fist so that he dies, that person shall be put to death; he is a murderer.

This is the legal definition of what murder is: with malice aforethought.

Numbers 35:33
Bloodshed pollutes the land, and atonement cannot be made for the land on which blood has been shed, except by the blood of the one who shed it.

And in this generation, how liveable it the land?
When too much blood has been drenched to perpetuate humanity?

Numbers 36
Your own lot is your own.
You are responsible to keep it.
You are not to assign it to anyone else.
Your choices are what make you.

2.14.11

Another one I like:

The Last Words of Angelo Reyes

Living life without honor is a tragedy bigger than death itself.

Stonewalling would mean I would have to go on every day of my life or at least a large part of it under a cloud of public suspicion, at least until the case is resolved. Every day as you continue to live with the lie, you lose a little of your self-respect. And every day, as people look at you, you can read from their minds that they find you dishonorable, and you die a little. So if you stonewall—and you have the connections, resources and power to sustain it, and perhaps the thick face to endure it—that would be the preferred option. I have none of these, and so I choose the path of honor.

My honor has been attacked and damaged. I still have a lot of pride and self-respect, and I’d like to come clean to preserve whatever honor is left.

We see plenty of people walking around who have been clearly disgraced in the eyes of the people, and I do not want to join their ranks.

I think if you want to cleanse the system and for there to be justice, it should be applied equally and well. Our experience has shown that those with position and power, support and connection invariably go scot-free. I don’t have any of these.

It is unfortunate that we have a huge canvas here of which, I admit, I have been a part; unfortunately, people are now inclined to make me the face of that problem for their own various reasons.

When I participated in Edsa II, even then I anticipated that something like this would happen when I made enemies both on a personal and official level. In my long years of service, I knew that I would have to come to terms with this enmity some day.
I might not be guiltless/faultless, but I am not as evil as some would like to portray.
To my friends and those who have known me and believed in me, I honestly believe I did not let you down.

I want to assure the (PMA) cadet corps, current and future, that there are plenty of military professionals who have served and will continue to serve the country well. Do not be disheartened by this turn of events. Yours is a noble profession (of arms), and you should feel no shame. I have tried to live with integrity, loyalty, and courage.
In my 48 years of public service, I have tried to live up to the highest levels of professionalism and integrity. Whether it’s my assignment with the AFP-RSBS or with the Anti-Smuggling Task Force, I never received any offers of bribes; in fact, I returned them. In all my assignments, 39 years in the military and 9 years in four different Cabinet positions, I have never had any favorite supplier. Neither have I ever extorted money nor set any financial precondition for the approval of any contract. I can honestly say that I served honestly and well.

We are now in the situation where my honor and the family name are at stake. My family, my children, my grandchildren could say with a lot of truthfulness and pride that in the family, we value honor and integrity. Strength to live it and the courage to face up to the truth. This is the legacy I would like to leave with them.

Honor, truth, but there must be justice. And justice can be served if laws are applied evenly and well—not favoring the rich and powerful. I hope my case/situation will not be used as something that would bring closure to the issue of military corruption. The fight to reform the system and the entire country must continue; the sad part is that they are selectively targeting individuals and institutions.

I did not invent corruption. I walked into it. Perhaps my first fault was in having accepted aspects of it as a fact of life.

While I am familiar with finance, I must admit I had scant knowledge of military comptrollership. Personally, zero experience. Never been assigned as disbursement officer, etc., no stint. It’s a military field of specialization that I do not have.
No system is perfect. The AFP system needs a lot of systemic solutions… And the same might be true of some other institutions.

Tinyente pa ako, ganyan na ang sistema (i.e., “conversion” system, etc.)… I can perhaps be faulted for presuming regularity in a grossly imperfect system. As CS (chief of staff), a big landscape, presume regularity, convenient to ignore it, accept it as part of the system. It’s easy to say, institute reforms after the problems have erupted.

I joined Edsa II at great risk. Jumped into a void. Coming from a place that was high and comfortable. Without any regard for compensation or recognition or reward. I thought what I did —being loyal to the Flag and putting the national interest above all else—a right, but I was faulted for not being loyal to the commander-in-chief, that I should have stuck with him to the end, however that end might be. I stuck it out with the Arroyo administration for 9 years, not under the banner of loyalty; I could have deserted Arroyo, but I did not want to be branded as someone who abandoned his superiors...

When we participated in many military campaigns, I would like to think that I showed courage…

SO...
GUILTY OR NOT GUILTY?


REFLECTIONS
Numbers 31-33

The Plunder of the Midianites
Numbers 31

Balaam was killed.
So were the entire Midianites except the women and children.
But only 32,000 virgins were spared.

Numbers 32:23
You may be sure that your sin will find you out.

The trip from Egypt to the Promised Land took many twists and turns only because of thing: disobedience.

When you think about it, such is the case about our life. The paths become thorny because we prefer to listen to our own voice rather than the leading of the Lord.
We make many stops when all the Lord wants is to keep our eyes on him so we don’t get lost in the many wildernesses of o